


Never Have I Ever

by Gigi2



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkeness, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, IW never happens, It never will happen, Love, M/M, Neck Kissing, Never Have I Ever, Pseudo-Incest, Sexual Questions, Snark, Would You Rather, games night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 13:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14569632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi2/pseuds/Gigi2
Summary: It was a disgusting night in New York, and Tony had devised an amazing plan to boost moral among the team, which just happened to include a lot of alcohol and a mixture of Never Have I Ever and Would You Rather.





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hope you all enjoy this. I hope it gives you a giggle

It was a cold, wet night in New York and the team, minus a few people, were sitting in the recreational room on the top floor, at Tony’s insistence. They walked up in drabs, but a little after nine, they were all sitting around the floor. 

“What is this about Tony? I just wanted a nice night with my bow”, Clint complained. He then scrunched up his nose when he realised how fucked up that sounded.

“Well, after all the shit that had happened, I feel as though we need a good night together. So, welcome to Game Night”, Tony said as he broke out the alcohol.

“I just remembered, I need to wash my hair”, Natasha mumbled before she tried to run, Clint tackled her to the ground.

“No. If I have to suffer through this, you can too”, Clint grumbled.

“Must I suffer through this?”, Loki asked.

The way Thor’s arms tightened around his waist meant a clear yes. Loki sighed. Tony and Bruce then produced even more alcohol and crystal shot glasses.

“Who had crystal shot glasses?”, Bucky whispered.

“Would you expect anything else? It is Tony, Buck”, Steve replied.

“At least we can’t get drunk”. Bucky shrugged.

“Oh yes you can, Loki, if you would do the honours”. Both Tony and Loki smirked before several horns of ale made their way to the table.

“Fuck”, Steve cursed.

“Why would you do that?”, Thor muttered.

“Because watching you all get drunk is very entertaining”, Loki assured with a grin.

“Alright, alright. You know what the first game is? Never Have I Ever. Now, I imagine Steve will win this one, because our good ol’ Capsical, is quiet the prude”, Tony said as he poured out the shots of vodka” Oh and Nat, you get to take two shots for each one”.

“I like my liver, Tony”.

“Well I don’t. And remember, nothing is off-limits tonight, just like the golden days”.

“Oh, then me first”, Clint said excitedly” Never Have I Ever has sex against a washing machine, while it was on”.

Clint cackled when Nat took a double shot, and Bruce and Tony both took a shot. So, the tone of the evening had been set.

“Never Have I Ever done it in public”, Bruce said, they all took shots around him” Seriously? Steve?”.

“I have been known to be very… well you can all imagine”. Bucky smirked, and Steve slapped his hand.

“I hate you”, Steve declared.

“No, you don’t. Never have I ever killed eighty people in two days”.

Loki begrudgingly took a drink. He stared at Bucky, a deadly fury burning in his eyes. Bucky shrugged.

“Never have I ever had sex in a hospital bed?”, Loki said.

Bucky narrowed his eyes before he downed another shot of the ale, beside him, Steve mirrored his movements. God, he hated that he was in the room with the God of Mischief. 

“Barnes, you have destroyed my opinion of Steve”, Clint muttered.

“I would just like to point out that he initiated it”.

“Never have I ever fantasised in a church”, Steve countered, a smirk on his face.

Thor, Bucky, Tony and Clint all took a shot. Bucky gnawed at his fingers before he moved close to Steve’s ear.

“You’re a little shit, Stevie”, Bucky whispered before he nipped at the soft skin on the side of his neck.

“When I said nothing was off-limits, I didn’t mean that everything would revolve around sex”, Tony muttered.

“Never have I ever been walked in on by a parent”, Thor said as he bit into his pop tarts.

Tony, Bruce, Natasha and Clint drank. Steve shook his head, Bucky cackled, and Loki, well, he couldn’t contain himself.

“Never have I ever had sex in a sleeping bag”, Bruce muttered.

Steve, Bucky, Natasha and Tony all took a shot. This was one messy game. For a while, all the questions revolved around sexual activity, and then Clint broke the record for most ridiculous question ever asked.

“Never have I ever received a blumpkin”. The Archer giggled drunkenly. 

The other seven people in the room looked at him like he was fucking crazy. What the fuck was a blumpkin? Finally, Tony asked Friday, who replied

“It is the act of receiving oral sex while doing your business sitting on the toilet”.

“What the fuck is the twenty-first century?”, Bucky coughed.

“Your people have strange customs”, Thor muttered. Loki laughed.

“They’re not customs, Thor”, Natasha promised.

“Do I even want to know where you learned that word?”, Bruce asked.

“Urban Dictionary”. Clint shrugged.

“Petition to ban Barton from the internet?”, Tony called. His arms waves dramatically and his words were slurred.

“Humans cannot hold their liquor it seems”, Loki whispered before he sunk back into the black cushions.

“I have a new game in mind”, Tony shouted.

“Is it a jigsaw? I love jigsaws”, Clint said before he fell into Natasha.

“You’re making us look like idiots, Clint”. Clint responded by sticking his tongue out at her.

“So childish”. Loki sighed before he rested his head against Thor’s shoulder.

“Come on then Stark, what’s the game?”, Bucky asked as he slid an arm around Steve’s waist.

“Would you rather”.

“That film was weird”, Clint yawned.

“Yeah, well I won’t be getting you to cut out your eyeballs, and since most of us are a wee bit intoxicated, it’s going to be so fun”, Tony announced as he clapped his hands together.

Bruce shook his head before he stopped his head to Tony’s shoulder. Fuck this shit, all Bruce wanted to do was curl up in a ball with a blanket and sleep, preferably wrapped around Tony but that was optional.

“Bruce, would you rather never be able to do anything sciencey ever again, or have sex as the hulk?”, Nat asked.

“What sort of question is that, Nat?”, Bruce complained.

“You have to answer it”, Clint chimed in.

“Either way, he’s going to wreck Tony”, Bucky pointed out.

“Just wait, Barnes. I will destroy you”, Tony threatened.

“Have sex as the hulk”, Bruce whispered.

“He don gon’ wrecked the boy”, Clint called.

“Barnes, would you rather Steve would cry uncontrollably when he saw you naked, or laugh?”, Tony asked.

“Well, he already cried when he sees the crown jewels, plus, he knows a good time when he sees it. Ain’t that right, Stevie?”. Bucky smirked before he nosed along Steve’s throat.

“I really hate you”, Steve whined.

“Alright then Tony, would you rather have come tasting like piss, or have your partner piss on you every time you have sex?”, Clint wondered.

“You’re not getting the electric arrows”, Tony growled.

“You have to answer the question, Tony”, Steve said.

“The first one”. Tony shivered as he spoke.

“Loki, would you rather never be king, or kill Thor?”, Bucky wondered with a raised eyebrow.

“Never be king, simple as. Would you rather kill Steve, or revert back to the Winter Solider?”, Loki asked. They all knew the answer.

“Touché”, Bucky said.

“Steve, would you rather be with somebody who doesn’t go down on you, or refuses to cuddle?”, Bruce questioned.

“The first one. His cuddles are just the best”. Steve smiled before he turned his head and kissed Bucky softly.

“Clint, would you rather never have sex again, or never use a bow?”, Thor wondered.

“No sex. A guy needs his bow”.

“Thor, would you rather give up pop tarts, or Loki?”.

“Although pop tarts have never stabbed me, faked their own death, or destroyed a city, I would have to stop that pop tarts”.

“That is the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me”, Loki smirked.

Soon, they all complained they were starving. Eventually, the kebabs and other assortments of food arrived, and it was gone within twenty minutes. Soon, they all drifted to sleep where they sat, until it was just Thor and Loki left awake.

“Did you really mean it?”, Thor whispered.

“Which part?”, Loki asked, his voice thick and heavy with sleep.

“Never being king”.

“Of course, I did. Too much has happened between us, my love. I want it to go back to the happy days of Asgard and mother and father. Now go to sleep you great oaf, I need my pillow”. Loki moved his head to rest on Thor’s lap as his brother’s fingers ran through his dark hair.

Thor smiled before he bent down and kissed the side of Loki’s head. He looked around the room, Natasha was resting against Clint, Steve and Bucky were entwined in one another and finally, Tony and Bruce were in a heap beside one another, a thick fuzzy blanket over them. Thor feel asleep with a smile on his face.


End file.
